For the second time in the last few weeks, had a very clear dream that involved Aba. This time he was at a seminar and clearly in his last few days. The dream was partly in the form of a documentary, partly live.
Through his last illness Aba was struggling yet very determined to make a contribution at the seminar. I don't remember exactly what the seminar was all about. It was about a group of Aba's colleagues but talking more about life wisdom than his own subject so that all of us - all family members were in attendance. I definitely remember myself, Aai, Baba, Ajjee there.
Several times during the course of the event it seems Aba will not be able to see it through but each time he fights through - the last time dramatically so - even asking for a shot of whiskey :). He shares some very personal intimate things - in particular some pictures of the house he had himself taken never before known. He talks about what are the types of people necessary in a family- along with a doctor, a geographer is a great help it seems ... I can't seem to remember the explanation here.
At the very end as if on a sudden last leash of life and energy; after at one point we had thought we had lost him forever; with Aai by his chair egging him on; and me almost ready to ask her to let go and console her - he enters his full lively flow. He walks out - the video cameras follow him; so do I, he walks to the old family home - walks fast - talking and explaining all the time; I ask him what the hell he is doing. To my surprise very clearly and practically he tells me that at this time he is trying to "sell" something - his legacy - his home - there is something so valuable here he tells me. Even more taken aback, I ask him (and this last part of the dream is the one I remember most vividly) how the hell he manages to draw upon so much energy at such times. He says when you know it is going to be all over pretty soon, one can summon all the energies one needs. A little bit in tears I ask him why he says that. I say if he keeps doing this all the time why won't he go on living for a long long time to come and won't that be an irony ? He laughs loud - his characteristic laugh and says - "You are an optimist, Don't be an optimist, be a pessimist". I am a little bit taken aback because this attitude is so unlike the Aba we have known. He goes on to explain "dont take it in the wrong sense. It will help you anticipate intervene and do something to prevent things from going wrong" - and that is the life lesson he gives me.
There are other parts of the dream that I remember clearly - which make it seem a bit like a documentary - like Aai talking about him and how he has passed on most of his legacy to her. While most of the material wealth is divided equally between the three children, she says she got some of the personal stuff - like his sunglasses,
There are other parts which are clearly symbolic. For instance he shows pictures about the family during the "plague" explaining how they fought it. I guess he meant the flood of 1961 but even that seems only symbolic considering he was probably not in pune then.
Through his last illness Aba was struggling yet very determined to make a contribution at the seminar. I don't remember exactly what the seminar was all about. It was about a group of Aba's colleagues but talking more about life wisdom than his own subject so that all of us - all family members were in attendance. I definitely remember myself, Aai, Baba, Ajjee there.
Several times during the course of the event it seems Aba will not be able to see it through but each time he fights through - the last time dramatically so - even asking for a shot of whiskey :). He shares some very personal intimate things - in particular some pictures of the house he had himself taken never before known. He talks about what are the types of people necessary in a family- along with a doctor, a geographer is a great help it seems ... I can't seem to remember the explanation here.
At the very end as if on a sudden last leash of life and energy; after at one point we had thought we had lost him forever; with Aai by his chair egging him on; and me almost ready to ask her to let go and console her - he enters his full lively flow. He walks out - the video cameras follow him; so do I, he walks to the old family home - walks fast - talking and explaining all the time; I ask him what the hell he is doing. To my surprise very clearly and practically he tells me that at this time he is trying to "sell" something - his legacy - his home - there is something so valuable here he tells me. Even more taken aback, I ask him (and this last part of the dream is the one I remember most vividly) how the hell he manages to draw upon so much energy at such times. He says when you know it is going to be all over pretty soon, one can summon all the energies one needs. A little bit in tears I ask him why he says that. I say if he keeps doing this all the time why won't he go on living for a long long time to come and won't that be an irony ? He laughs loud - his characteristic laugh and says - "You are an optimist, Don't be an optimist, be a pessimist". I am a little bit taken aback because this attitude is so unlike the Aba we have known. He goes on to explain "dont take it in the wrong sense. It will help you anticipate intervene and do something to prevent things from going wrong" - and that is the life lesson he gives me.
There are other parts of the dream that I remember clearly - which make it seem a bit like a documentary - like Aai talking about him and how he has passed on most of his legacy to her. While most of the material wealth is divided equally between the three children, she says she got some of the personal stuff - like his sunglasses,
There are other parts which are clearly symbolic. For instance he shows pictures about the family during the "plague" explaining how they fought it. I guess he meant the flood of 1961 but even that seems only symbolic considering he was probably not in pune then.
posted by Gaurav at 1:54 AM
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